Learn how to give a wine recommendation that fits your friends’ tastes and budget every time, because being the wine person in your group is a lot of pressure.

“Can you recommend me a wine?”

Or another one of my favorites, in a restaurant:

“Why don’t you pick the wine?”

If you’re the wine guy (or gal) in your group, you’ve probably heard one of those before. Your friends like wine, but they don’t know much about it. But you do, right?

Well, you know more about wine than they do, but do you know enough to offer a useful wine recommendation? It not only depends on how much you know about wine, but also on how well you know your friends.

There are two distinct scenarios here. In one you’re with your friend while picking the wine. This is the restaurant example. Or maybe you walk together into a wine store. In the other one you’re not. Maybe you get a text or a call. Or perhaps you are together but not buying wine at the moment. Your friend could just be looking for a wine recommendation to buy later as a present.

It’s complicated. Still, I can give you a few tips to make you look like a pro when giving wine recommendations.

But First: How Much Do They Want to Spend?

Wine can be expensive. And I’m sure you spend all your retirement money on wine, but that’s not the kind of wine recommendation your friends are looking for. They tried and liked Pinot Noir? Don’t recommend high-end Burgundies, unless you’re sure they can afford them.

When in doubt, suggest wines cheaper than what you think they can afford. Worst case scenario, they will be happy about the value.

How Well Do You Know Your Friends?

The first secret of optimal wine recommendations is to understand what they like. If you don’t already know, ask them. And don’t use complicated wine lingo or assume they know anything about wine regions. You’ll get nowhere asking if they like Pomerol wines. They might not even know the popular grape names. Don’t be surprised if they’ve never heard of Cabernet Franc, or even Merlot, in some cases.

Start simple. White wine or red? Ideally, that won’t matter, but I know people that will only drink one of those. Imagine how confusing it would be for them if I start yapping about Rosés or any of the other wine styles.

Then ask about general flavor preferences. Do they enjoy mouthwatering (acidic) wines? What about mouth-drying (tannic) wines? Ask them if they like fruit-forward wines, but make sure they understand you don’t mean sweet when you say it. Ask them if they prefer wines that are lighter and fresher or deeper and more profound.

In general, try to find out what wines have they tried—and liked—in the past. The safest recommendations are something along those lines. They like Napa Cabs? Then they’ll probably also enjoy wines from the left bank in Bordeaux, like those from Médoc or Graves. Another good recommendation would be a Cabernet Sauvignon from Maipo.

A Wine Recommendation You’d Like to Get Yourself

Once you have a general idea of what your friends might enjoy, recommend wines you like to drink of a similar style. Speak passionately about why you like them and get them excited to try them.

If your friends are just getting into wine, you have a great opportunity to show them your preferences. Uncork your favorite Sauvignon Blanc, and if they like it, you can suggest other brands, other regions, and even other varies that are similar in crispness and aromatics, like Albariño.

I know this sounds like you’re steering your friends only toward wines you like, but can you really recommend something you yourself don’t enjoy? Furthermore, if you’re the wine guy (or gal) in your group, I’m sure you like many different styles. Showing a few of those to your friends will help them find the ones they want to purchase.

Are You Here Because You Are Looking for Wine Recommendations?

I’ve got you! A little.

If you write to me and tell me what kinds of wines you like, then I will gladly suggest new ones for you. But, like I said above, I don’t know you. My wine recommendation is to look for a friend… in your local wine store. That’s right. Ask them, and it’s unlikely they’ll mislead you. Most people who work in wine stores are passionate about it. It’s likely they study it (even if that just means reading books on the subject), and they have tasted many of the wines they offer. Take advantage.

After all, there’s the risk that I’ll recommend a wine that the store doesn´t carry. Wine store salespeople know their inventory and will offer you the best alternatives based on the information you give them. Sure, they may upsell, but if you’re clear about your budget, that should be no problem.

You might get unlucky, of course. I once went to a store while traveling in Portugal, and it was clear the salesperson I got didn’t care to help me too much. I got out of there with two excellent wines, but I was looking to hear about the vineyards and regions, and despite my questions (and their fluent English) I didn’t get anything useful or interesting. I had to do the research on my own later.

It’s my experience, however, that people selling wine are passionate, friendly, and more than willing to share their knowledge. They should be happy to talk with someone interested enough to ask.

Ordering Wine at Restaurants

Ordering wine by the glass in Chilean restaurants can be frustrating, at least in Santiago. Few have a dedicated wine-by-the-glass menu, and what they actually offer changes depending on whatever was within their budget that week. Wine recommendations for most of those restaurants are pointless.

However, if you’re getting a bottle for your table, my suggestion would be similar to the one in the section above. Rely on the restaurant’s staff. Your server or, ideally, your sommelier should be able to recommend a great wine based on your budget and description. Which brings me to…

Use Descriptions That Actually Work to Get Killer Wine Recommendations.

There’s a few key words you can use to unlock better wine recommendation from servers and sellers. Let’s look at a few of them:

• Understanding body. Skim milk is thin, while whole milk is thicker, denser. That’s body, and wine has it. Pinot Noir is a lighter-body red, whereas Cabernet Sauvignon is a heavy-body one. You find the same with whites. Think Sauvignon Blanc vs. oaked Chardonnay.
• Sweet and fruity are different. They don’t have to be but commonly are. Sweet wines have residual sugars. They come from the fruit, of course, but it doesn’t mean that the wine will smell or taste sweet. Malbec is a fruit forward wine (it smells of cherries and plum jam), but it’s quite dry, generally speaking.
• Tannins are polarizing. In wines, tannins are the dry-mouth sensation you get when sipping young reds. Similar to what you get when drinking deep black tea. Some of you love tannins in wine, and some of you hate them. If you know in which corner you stand, vocalize it!
• Technically all wines are acidic, even sweet wines. However, when you say you want an acidic wine, you’re probably referring to one that’s crisp, zappy, and even fresh.
• Old World wines vs. New World wines. New World style means the wines are bolder and have more defined fruit aromas. They tend to be oakier, and in-your-face. On the other hand, Old World Wines are more subtle, more balanced, earthier on the nose, and terroir driven.

The Last Drop

You’re reading this. You’re the wine guy (or gal) in your group. Accept it. You will be getting the wine list at restaurants, and you’ll be getting the calls from your friends asking for wine recommendations. Embrace it!

You’re already passionate about wines, aren’t you? Show them that passion! Explain terroir and why it matters when selecting wine regions. Talk about your favorite lesser-known varieties and talk about why they might want to try them. Tell them the stories of your favorite wineries and why their winemakers are cool. Use the opportunity to get them a little more into wine. Who knows, maybe soon they’ll be the ones getting the wine lists and calls for their different groups.

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Cover Image: Follow the store clerk’s advice for a good wine recommendation. Photo by Nguyen Hong Quan.